“BONO DOES THE WALRUS”

... No, this is not a twisted porn flick, nor is it a silly dance.

The last few days have been a haze. Really. (Lots of smoking.) But also, 15-18 hour days. Including Sunday.

We had Bono again, and AGAIN I had make-up with him! Both at 8am AND for our after lunch "touchups". Crazy.

I played it much cooler this time and only stuttered once or twice before I could just thank him for the tickets he gave us all in October as well as the Beatles medley he sung from the stage after hearing us yell to him “hey Dr. Robert!!” Then I went on to tell him how hard I tried to get to the stage to help him remember the lyrics to a very old U2 song, (which was ONLY from a live import and not a song they ever recorded in the studio) called "Party Girl". Some fan yelled it out when Bono told the crowd to pick an old one. He was caught off guard, but being a man of his word, he went for it, admitting that he couldn't remember the lyrics. Well, you betcha I knew EVERY last one of them and I'd be damned if I wasn't going to sing that song! So, after trampling a number of small teenagers (hmmm, reminds me of a particular whale watching trip I once took) to get up front, I stopped myself and decided that I'd feel really uncool (and more importantly I'd LOOK reeeeeally uncool) charging my way any further. Hey, I had a movie with him and all, right? So, I settled for SCREAMING EVERY LYRIC OUT AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS from a bit further back in the crowd and to the obvious dismay (and pain) of fellow concert go-ers.

Sometimes being so tall at concerts is a blessing AND a curse.

Well, when I relayed the story to Bono he said: "Ah, Sadie Darlin', had I seen you out there I woulda pulled ya on stage to sing it".

FUCK.

Never again will I let shameful looks from strangers who make me feel like a complete and utter pathetic loser, deter me from a childhood dream.

FUUUUCK!

Okay. Moving on. We then had a great conversation about the Dylan documentary and shared what inspired each of us. Once I just started rapping to him about music, I started to feel in better command of my tongue and jaw, and began to sound less like a deaf mute trying to speak, and more like a confident young woman who might know a little bit about music.

It was time to go to set. What a set. I feel like I keep saying this, but Julie just keeps surprising us!

Set for the last couple of days was a loft apartment on 1st and 1st, which we had to enter by way of some rusted out old auto parts store.

Upon passing through the garage, there is a large courtyard which offers 3 separate floor-to-ceiling glass doors (which all lead into the same gargantuan home) surrounded by floor-to-ceiling glass walls.

Inside was another galaxy entirely. Not another world, not another planet, but another galaxy. I guess "Across the Universe" IS truly an appropriate title for this film.

Our incredibly unique, brilliant, and monstrously creative director and art department, (led by designer, Mark Friedberg ) had turned this place into a Mod 60's Party Palace! There was the “bubble room": a large red room with nothing but GIANT balloons--each the size of a truck---where gorgeous people wearing dresses and/or beehive hairdos that light up, rolled over, under, around and then some; there was the dining room: a long multicolored room---maybe 100 feet----with a long wooden dining table that had to be at least 70 feet, covered with colorful, but unappetizing, appetizers (too weird to describe. Really.) and BIZARRE blown-glass art. Turns out the owner is a famous and wealthy glass blower. All righty then. Then there was the "main room" where Dr. Robert (Bono) performs his speech and promotes his book, before launching into the first half of "I Am The Walrus" (remember, we did the second half on the magic bus) as all the party go-ers, merry pranksters, I and my cast mates danced, smoked, tripped, tripped, tripped. Tripped. In fact, a few of my mates actually took the opportunity to trip on mushrooms. Brave. I didn't need anything. I had Bono and the engaging company of Bill, the sleazy record label guy who brings us to this party, which is being hosted by Dr. Robert's publisher, Luna Park.

Bill is played by the wonderful actor (he was Robert Crumb in "American Splendor"--great film!) and a funny funny man, James Urbaniak James does the best Tom Cruise impersonation there could ever be. His interpretive dance to any song I throw at him rocks too! There was a lot of standing around to get the right shots of Bono, us getting high, Bill and I making JoJo jealous, and worried looking GOGO girls hanging upside down from gravity boots or swinging in giant white bubble seats that hung from the ceiling beams. It was a pleasure to stand next to James for 12 hours (with one break only) and get some good laughs, good film recommendations AND good acting tips!

Luna Park was played by a 50 something asian actress who wore huge false eyelashes, a light-up dress, and an eternal, ever so creepy, giant smile, as she kept accidentally calling us all by our real names. (Fortunately the boom mic wasn't always close enough to hear our "background party chatter" and her gaffs.) By the way, one of the things I learned from James (Bill) is that when you have to fake background conversation (which means it will only be seen and not heard) and you have to do it for many hours, you simply say "peas and carrots" a number of times, occasionally throwing in a "rhubarb". This makes the mouth move in all the right ways for believable dialogue.

It really does. Try it at home!

I also learned from James (after Julie told me to "lose the huffing") that there is a thing known as "The Hollywood Huff" which is basically a "huff" to show frustration or surrender or whatever. Anyway, it's an economical way of showing an emotion that should otherwise be expressed in a more creative way. Apparently many young and amateur actors rely on this. (So do many of our older not-so-good actors out there). Think about it. You KNOW you've seen the Huff! Now I know to never do the huff again. Very cool. Thanks, James!

The rest of the rooms were filled with super models, REAL 1960s rejects, and more strange blown glass.

I spent the day standing or sitting for various scenes in various rooms at various times of the party. My favorite was when I was perched up about 8 feet to sit in the middle of a giant white wall, dangling my feet and pretending to look troubled as Bill continues to try to sell me on signing with his label and gets a bit too pushy while JoJo watches from afar. (Actually this is when the huff went down. But fortunately you'll never see it.)

By the time we got to the part where Bono gives us his speech and sings, (after shooting his mere entrance to the party for 5 straight hours) he was tired and again could not remember his lines. After the first few flubs he yelled: "Hey, I'm really going to need my line shouter today". We didn't really know there was such a thing. But I guess Bono did.

Julie gave the lines to that same PA. Poor guy also had to hold up giant 6 foot cue cards with lyrics to the song.

What could we say? This was the man who persuaded our president to relieve a 3rd world nation's debt, was 2 days away from completing his millionth grueling, nonstop world tour, unrelentingly still fighting the AIDS epidemic in Africa and now currently in the midst of press junkets for the new U2 album and tour, as well as meetings with world leaders about human rights matters, and here he was shooting a film on his only days off! (Whew. I'm exhausted.)

Tired, cranky and clearly on a tight schedule, he managed to completely blow us all away again. And he wasn't even really singing this time!

Once the scene was nailed. He said his good-byes, told us he'd see us at the "wrap party" and took off.

We stuck around for a while to finish the "trip".